How to Make Friends Abroad — The Honest Guide for Erasmus Students & Expats (2026)

You landed a week ago. New country, new language, a room that still does not feel like yours — and a phone full of people who are all back home. Everyone on your course already seems to know each other. If the first weeks abroad feel quietly lonely: that is normal, and it is almost universal. The EU's own research has found that young adults are among the age groups most likely to feel lonely across Europe — and moving to a place where you know no one turns the volume up.

The good news: making friends abroad follows rules you can actually use. It is a bit harder than at home, but the playbook is clear — and the clock on your semester is exactly why you should start now, not in week six.

Why Abroad Is Different From Just a New City

Moving cities inside your own country is hard enough. Abroad stacks three more things on top. Language: smalltalk is exhausting in a language you are still learning, so you avoid it. Cultural codes: you cannot yet read who is open, what counts as friendly, or when an invitation is real. And the clock: an Erasmus semester is four to six months, which quietly whispers "do not bother, you are leaving soon." That whisper is the single biggest trap — six months is plenty of time for real friendships, but only if you act like it.

Use the Structures Built For You — In Week One

Here is what most people discover too late: an entire infrastructure exists specifically to solve your problem. ESN (the Erasmus Student Network) runs in hundreds of European cities with weekly events, trips and tandem nights for exactly your situation. Most universities have a buddy or mentor program that pairs you with a local student, often before you even arrive. There are orientation weeks, international offices, faculty welcome events, and student housing where half the building is in the same boat.

None of this works in week six. Sign up before you arrive, show up to the first slightly awkward orientation event even when you are jetlagged, and say yes to the buddy. The friction is lowest in the first two weeks — everyone is new, and nobody has settled into cliques yet.

Recurring Beats One-Off — Especially With a Deadline

Friendship is built by repetition, not by one great night. We like people more the more often we see them, even without deep conversation. At home you have years for that to happen by accident. Abroad you do not — so you engineer it. Pick one or two things that happen every week: a sports club, a choir, a language tandem, a volunteering shift, a regular café. Go back even when the first time was awkward. Seeing the same faces every Tuesday does more in a month than ten different parties.

Mix the Bubble — International And Local

The Erasmus bubble is warm, instant, and a little bit of a trap. Other exchange students are easy to befriend because everyone is equally lost — but they all leave when you do, and you will speak English the whole time. Keep them, and deliberately add locals: a language exchange, a local club, your flatmates, a course society. Local friendships root you, push your language faster, and turn "a semester abroad" into actually living somewhere.

The Language Thing — Don't Wait Until You're Fluent

You will never feel ready. Speak the local language badly, early, and often — most people are far warmer to someone butchering their language than to someone who never tries. A language tandem is the most efficient tool there is: one-on-one, mutual benefit, built-in weekly repetition, and zero pressure to be interesting.

What Not to Do

Don't treat it as temporary. Six months is time. People who decide friendships are not worth it leave with none — and regret it.

Don't live only in the group chat. A 200-message thread that never decides anything is not a social life. Be the person who says "here is the plan, who is in?"

Don't use dating apps for friends. Even with friend modes, the context is wrong and the energy leaks in. Swap profiles, not numbers, and meet around real things instead.

What an App Like S'Up Helps With (and Doesn't)

We are not building S'Up to keep you on your phone. The honest job it does: in a city you do not know yet, it answers "what is actually happening near me tonight" — so the gap between feeling like going out and knowing where to go gets smaller. It is city-agnostic across Europe, and it is built for plans and people, not swiping or dating.

What it does not do: show up for you, sign you up for the buddy program, or skip the patience of the first month. Any app promising a friend group in a week is selling something.

Common Questions

How long until a place stops feeling foreign? For most people, four to eight weeks of consistency. Real friendships take longer than that — which is fine, you are not behind.

Is it normal to still feel lonely after a month abroad? Completely, and almost everyone hides it. If you have been consistent and still feel it, check whether your weekly activities are too big or too sporadic.

International or local friends — which should I aim for? Both, on purpose. International for the instant bond, local for roots and language.

I'm shy and barely speak the language. Go small: 4–8 person formats, tandems, board-game nights. Smaller rooms, lower stakes.

Is it worth it for just one semester? Yes. The people you meet in a hard, temporary chapter often stick the longest — and you end up with a couch to visit in a new city for years afterward.

Nobody is keeping score on how fast you settle in. Be visible, be repetitive, start in week one — and treat six months like it matters. It does.